Reinventing My Identity Upon Recognizing That I Am Now Old
I want to learn how to savor my Journey through old age
Throughout my first 80 years, my unanalyzed self-identity was that of a striver.
As the first child of a couple who’d had rough upbringings in rural West Virginia during the Depression, my parents encouraged me to work hard to learn as much as possible.
They wanted me always to do well — to achieve the American dream of surpassing them in their achievements.
Thus, I made my way through school, college, and three careers. Then, one day deep into my retirement, I realized my motto had always been and remained “Strive, Strive, Strive.” And I‘’d had enough.
Yes, my implicit maxim had served me well, but it was past time to put it aside. This turned out to be easier said than done. I often noticed that I was still seeking to do it all.
Then, severe osteoarthritis got the best of me. After many months of decline, pain in my right leg prevented me from living my usual life.
The biggest surprise of my life has been old age.
Here, I am paraphrasing Leon Trotsky’s famous quote that I recently came across. It always helps to know that we are not alone. I am still struggling to accept that I am old; it does not fit my self-image.
I never planned nor expected to become disabled — if only temporarily, but what a wake-up call! Hobbling around on a walker makes me feel old.
My hip and knee and parts of my back are badly worn with severe osteoarthritis. I am now recovering from surgery to replace my right hip, and I am hopeful that I will soon be able to hike local trails as I have done in recent years. But I recognize that I need a new mindset for my old age.
At 81, I must accept that I am old. And I want to give up my striving mentality.
I want to create a new maxim to live by.
Less is more fits my new perspective. If I can stop striving and adopt this philosophy, I should be better able to adjust to being old.
The modern meaning of less is more is strongly related to anti-materialism and minimalism, which focus on surrounding yourself with the things you love and value and letting go of all the rest. (online blogger Marissa)
Less is more can guide my priority setting. A few years ago, I began simplifying my life, but I need to continue reducing the contents of our home and my digital presence.
I want to cultivate an understanding that less leads to a more enriching life, and my approach to this is to add a gratitude section to my journaling practice.
I want to savor my journey through old age.
My new reality demands that I face facts. I cannot predict the future.
I hope to enjoy every precious happy moment and calmly witness the unfolding of any sad occasion. Nonetheless, having a motto would be helpful.
I consulted Microsoft’s Pilot for suggestions. Here are its six ideas (without the supporting comments):
Live in the moment.
Embrace change.
Stay curious.
Be kind to yourself.
Find joy in the little things.
Stay connected.
These possibilities increased my quandary because all appeal to me.
As I stepped away, the lines of the serenity prayer came to me, and I welcomed its message.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
As I savor my journey through old age, I hope to enjoy the serenity, courage, and wisdom of this prayer.
